I’ve been working with a group of technical professionals this week and am running into a familiar techie issue. My technical guys love monologue. And the longer, more data packed and deeply obscure the better. They make the case that if they are speaking to a technical audience, a complex presentation is expected; and, as long as that presentation is well structured, I can go along with it. The problem is that most of these presenters are techies speaking to a non-technical prospect. And that prospect is far more interested in the solution to his/her problem than in hearing the technical details of the subject matter itself. They just want to know what time it is, and they really don’t care how the clock works.

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I recently had lunch with a friend who I haven’t seen in a long time. It was a wonderful reunion and great to catch up with her. As we sat and talked I realized that my friend spent a great deal of time apologizing. Once I heard this pattern emerge I listened more carefully. Here’s what she said: “I’m sorry to tell you this.” “This might not be something you want to hear.”  “I’m sorry, I know this sounds silly.”  “I know you’ll think I’m nuts.”  “Please don’t think I’m crazy.” “This may completely turn you off.” “I hate to even bring this up.” “I’m so sorry to burden you.” “I’ve rambled on so long, sorry.”

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I got a call today from a woman who owns a bakery that specializes in selling gluten free products—cookies, biscotti, scones and other wonderful wheat free foods. She has a good niche market but wants to grow her business—and someone told her to look into public speaking as an avenue to get the word out. I told her I thought it was a great idea and I’d love to help. Then I asked, “Do you like speaking in front of groups?” She gasped (literally) and said “why no, I’m scared to death. That’s why I’m calling you.” She was hoping that I could help her overcome her fear. “Well, how deep is your fear?” I asked. “It’s really bad,” she said. “I’m afraid I’ll stand up to speak, have a heart attack and die right there in front of everyone. That would be so embarrassing!” I didn’t dare tell her that embarrassment would be the least of her worries. And instead I told her not to worry. That as far as I knew there was only one person who had died of a heart attack while actually giving a speech. And his was a happy death.

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I have been working with a client in our Executive Immersion program and am once again reminded of the critical role that stories play in executive effectiveness.  My client is working hard to develop a communication approach that balances IQ and EQ—that is, using intellectual, analytical, problem solving tactics combined with an ability to manage and integrate a range of emotions in all forms of communication. This balance seems especially important when an executive is communicating a new, expanded or revised vision to a less than eager workforce.

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The PowerPoint Revolution continues! Every few months another contender appears in the marketplace, attempting to poke a hole in the thick skin of the 800 lb slideware-gorilla that dominates meeting rooms across the globe. I don’t believe that there is anything inherently wrong with PowerPoint, but it has undoubtedly become the software program everyone loves to hate.

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The Holidays are a time to celebrate the many joys of the season and to enjoy the company of those you cherish. In addition to my wonderful family, relatives and friends, I am grateful for my colleagues and clients and the many new connections that I’ve made this year through my blog.

So I’d like to say thank you to YOU, our wonderful readers, and give you the gift of our first “blog carnival.”  Below you will find thirteen blog posts by an outstanding group of public speakers. They have shared their thoughts, tips and musings on the theme of Public Speaking and The Holidays.

I offer my sincere thanks to our contributors for their participation and I look forward to making this blog carnival a continuing feature for you all to enjoy.

Don’t Toast The Holidays: How Presenters Can Give A Toast Without Toasting A Relationship

Jim Anderson – The Accidental Communicator

“A poorly given toast can burn a relationship.”

How to Mix and Mingle Your Way through the Dreaded Holiday Party

Lisa Braithwaite – Speak Schmeak

Learn how to manage your anxiety, let go of your fear, and genuinely enjoy yourself at Holiday parties.

Tis the Season for Public Speaking

Terry Gault – Speak Fearlessly

5 simple guidelines for communicating at a Holiday gathering.

3 Gifts of Feedback

John Goalby – World Champion Evaluator

Three types of feedback gifts that one can give to experienced speakers.

Speaking Of…The Holiday Season

Marilyn E. Jess – Speaking Of…

Suggestions on how to listen more and speak less to improve one’s public speaking skills this Holiday Season.

How to Schmooze, Mingle, and Make Small Talk at Your Holiday Party

Lisa B. Marshall – The Art of Speaking Business

10 tips towards mastering the art of mingling at your office party.

How to Propose a Toast

Olivia Mitchell – Speaking about Presenting

7 ways to give the gift of public speaking this Holiday Season.

Public Speaking and the Holidays

Nick Morgan – Nick Morgan’s blog

An historical look at public speaking during festive occasions.

A Toast to the Season

Kathy Reiffensein – Professionally Speaking…

A few tips to keep in mind as you toast the Season.

All We Want for Christmas – A Presentation Wish List for 2009

Scott Schwertly – ethos3

Top 10 most wanted public speaking items.

 Giving Thanks from the Podium

Stephanie Scotti – Speaker Notes

Reflect on this past year’s gifts and blessings with a video of the 2009 Voice of Democracy winner.

A Gift for Speakers and Would-be Speakers

Martin Shovel – Creativity Works

“A medley of tips on how to prepare – and write – a speech or presentation that will make an audience sit up and listen.”

A Holiday Speech for the Ages

Cynthia Sparks – Starks Communications

A reflection on Christmas sermons from Cynthia’s favorite priests.

Public Speaking for the Holidays: Beware

George Torok – Executive Speech Coach

Unplanned speeches during the Holidays can be dangerous!

In August, I wrote a blog about hippie-era slang that coincided with the 40^th anniversary of Woodstock . I explained how speech has always been a principle medium for cultures to define and differentiate themselves. Today, it is clear to linguists and laymen alike that people are incorporating language that reflects their online activity into offline speech. For example, “LOL” or “BRB” have been commonplace in everyday speech for years due to instant and text messaging. Then, social networking officially transformed the word “friend” into a verb. And phrases like, “It was nice to meet you,” are now synonymous with, “I’ll Facebook you.”

With the mass integration of technology into daily communication and omnipresence of the internet, I believe that there is now an inability for this younger generation to truly define their culture via speech.

Slang words that could once define specific geographic origins and subcultures can now find their way to foreign and multigenerational ears and mouths because the internet knows no bounds. Websites such as urbandictionary.com propagates slang to anyone with an internet connection. For instance, surfer-speak like, “stoked” or “gnarly,” can now be heard regularly in land locked areas like Kansas and New Mexico. 

The world is certainly moving towards an English speaking homogeny, but could it be moving towards a singular English slang as well?

I have been going to the same dentist for ten years but we’ve never discussed what I do for a living. In fact, every time I go I make it a point to get out of there as fast as I can. But on Monday we engaged in post-Thanksgiving chit chat, and I was delighted to learn that my dentist is also a public speaker.

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We are in the midst of one of the most difficult years this country and the world has seen in decades – the challenges of the economy, the irreversible issues of climate change, mounting healthcare costs, two complicated wars…plus our own personal challenges. During times like these it’s often difficult to look on the bright side and count our blessings. Yet in the midst of so much chaos blessings remain everywhere, and it is important that we acknowledge and share them not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day.

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One of my passions in life is helping my clients and those in my online community improve and strengthen their speaking and presentation skills so that their message will have a powerful impact on all those who hear it. As such, my company, DeFinis Communications, gives people the training, tools and resources to choose the right words and say them with skill and confidence.

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