I had lunch with a colleague last week and we had a rousing discussion about two different approaches to teaching public speaking and presentation skills.

My company, DeFinis Communications, approaches the training process from a skills perspective. We teach the techniques, behaviors and skills that are associated with powerful and effective public speaking—and we do it with a proprietary coaching approach that gets great results. Once those fundamentals are in place, our clients get stronger and more confident so they are able to take risks and let their personalities shine on a solid and reliable base of skill. From there we move to personal style enhancements.

My colleague, on the other hand, works for a company that has an entirely different philosophy and point of view. They believe that skill training is close to useless. She feels that the most important aspect of public speaking training is what she calls “authenticity training,” where she teaches people how to speak from the heart in an open, emotional and spontaneous way.

So who’s right?

In my experience, the people we most often work with “don’t know what they don’t know.” So part of what we do is support them through the learning process as we teach them specific and practical ways to communicate. For example, I recently worked with a group of experienced presenters who had accumulated some bad speaking habits. It was my job to (gently) point those out and raise awareness. Then I helped them replace the bad habits with solid skills that they could rely upon to communicate their message more effectively. Once these new skills were in place, they felt much more confident and were able to let their unique personalities shine.  

My colleague then spoke about a program she had recently facilitated where each of the nine presenters she worked with had the audience crying after every speech. She said the emotional impact of their speeches was very powerful and she achieved this by avoiding skills training altogether. Rather, she coached them to reach deeper into their own personal experience—to add emotion and stories to their message and to be more expressive. She didn’t coach them on “how” to do that, but she said they all ended up fully expressing their ideas and emotions in a rich and meaningful way.

What do you think? Is there one right approach?

Perhaps the best method is to blend a certain amount of each philosophy into one training experience. Yet my professional experience and personal instinct cautions me against this. It reminds of when my son was a little boy and began to play soccer. He and his friends did nothing more than chase after the ball at full speed from one end of the field to the other. They had little skill, no strategy and limited playing experience to back them up. They were all having a great time out there, but with little success. It was only after they were trained, coached and gained some skills that they actually looked like a team and won a few games—and I think they had a better time on the field as well.

So I will stick with skills and technique training every time. While getting people to feel and express emotion has its place, skillfully getting your point across so people take action on your ideas is more valuable—and profitable—for today’s business presenters.

One of the many reasons why I enjoy living in the Bay Area is the seemingly endless opportunities to hear good speakers. I am a member of Left Coast Writers (LCW), and recently attended our monthly Literary Salon held at Book Passage Independent bookstore in Corte Madera, CA. Under the direction of author and speaker, Linda Watanabe McFerrin, LCW provides the literary community with resources, readings, writing tips, networking, literary chat and generally great fun. If you’re a writer, you want to be there.

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For many, 2009 was a struggle. Fortunately, the worst of the economic downturn seems to have passed. In its wake, many people were left wondering what had just happened and what they could have done differently. But as we enter the new calendar year, most of us switch from reflection to resolution. Responding to adversity with hope is a beautiful element of humanity, and the inspiration behind dedicating this latest installment of my public speaking blog carnival to the New Year.

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I’ve been working with a group of technical professionals this week and am running into a familiar techie issue. My technical guys love monologue. And the longer, more data packed and deeply obscure the better. They make the case that if they are speaking to a technical audience, a complex presentation is expected; and, as long as that presentation is well structured, I can go along with it. The problem is that most of these presenters are techies speaking to a non-technical prospect. And that prospect is far more interested in the solution to his/her problem than in hearing the technical details of the subject matter itself. They just want to know what time it is, and they really don’t care how the clock works.

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I recently had lunch with a friend who I haven’t seen in a long time. It was a wonderful reunion and great to catch up with her. As we sat and talked I realized that my friend spent a great deal of time apologizing. Once I heard this pattern emerge I listened more carefully. Here’s what she said: “I’m sorry to tell you this.” “This might not be something you want to hear.”  “I’m sorry, I know this sounds silly.”  “I know you’ll think I’m nuts.”  “Please don’t think I’m crazy.” “This may completely turn you off.” “I hate to even bring this up.” “I’m so sorry to burden you.” “I’ve rambled on so long, sorry.”

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I got a call today from a woman who owns a bakery that specializes in selling gluten free products—cookies, biscotti, scones and other wonderful wheat free foods. She has a good niche market but wants to grow her business—and someone told her to look into public speaking as an avenue to get the word out. I told her I thought it was a great idea and I’d love to help. Then I asked, “Do you like speaking in front of groups?” She gasped (literally) and said “why no, I’m scared to death. That’s why I’m calling you.” She was hoping that I could help her overcome her fear. “Well, how deep is your fear?” I asked. “It’s really bad,” she said. “I’m afraid I’ll stand up to speak, have a heart attack and die right there in front of everyone. That would be so embarrassing!” I didn’t dare tell her that embarrassment would be the least of her worries. And instead I told her not to worry. That as far as I knew there was only one person who had died of a heart attack while actually giving a speech. And his was a happy death.

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I have been working with a client in our Executive Immersion program and am once again reminded of the critical role that stories play in executive effectiveness.  My client is working hard to develop a communication approach that balances IQ and EQ—that is, using intellectual, analytical, problem solving tactics combined with an ability to manage and integrate a range of emotions in all forms of communication. This balance seems especially important when an executive is communicating a new, expanded or revised vision to a less than eager workforce.

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The PowerPoint Revolution continues! Every few months another contender appears in the marketplace, attempting to poke a hole in the thick skin of the 800 lb slideware-gorilla that dominates meeting rooms across the globe. I don’t believe that there is anything inherently wrong with PowerPoint, but it has undoubtedly become the software program everyone loves to hate.

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The Holidays are a time to celebrate the many joys of the season and to enjoy the company of those you cherish. In addition to my wonderful family, relatives and friends, I am grateful for my colleagues and clients and the many new connections that I’ve made this year through my blog.

So I’d like to say thank you to YOU, our wonderful readers, and give you the gift of our first “blog carnival.”  Below you will find thirteen blog posts by an outstanding group of public speakers. They have shared their thoughts, tips and musings on the theme of Public Speaking and The Holidays.

I offer my sincere thanks to our contributors for their participation and I look forward to making this blog carnival a continuing feature for you all to enjoy.

Don’t Toast The Holidays: How Presenters Can Give A Toast Without Toasting A Relationship

Jim Anderson – The Accidental Communicator

“A poorly given toast can burn a relationship.”

How to Mix and Mingle Your Way through the Dreaded Holiday Party

Lisa Braithwaite – Speak Schmeak

Learn how to manage your anxiety, let go of your fear, and genuinely enjoy yourself at Holiday parties.

Tis the Season for Public Speaking

Terry Gault – Speak Fearlessly

5 simple guidelines for communicating at a Holiday gathering.

3 Gifts of Feedback

John Goalby – World Champion Evaluator

Three types of feedback gifts that one can give to experienced speakers.

Speaking Of…The Holiday Season

Marilyn E. Jess – Speaking Of…

Suggestions on how to listen more and speak less to improve one’s public speaking skills this Holiday Season.

How to Schmooze, Mingle, and Make Small Talk at Your Holiday Party

Lisa B. Marshall – The Art of Speaking Business

10 tips towards mastering the art of mingling at your office party.

How to Propose a Toast

Olivia Mitchell – Speaking about Presenting

7 ways to give the gift of public speaking this Holiday Season.

Public Speaking and the Holidays

Nick Morgan – Nick Morgan’s blog

An historical look at public speaking during festive occasions.

A Toast to the Season

Kathy Reiffensein – Professionally Speaking…

A few tips to keep in mind as you toast the Season.

All We Want for Christmas – A Presentation Wish List for 2009

Scott Schwertly – ethos3

Top 10 most wanted public speaking items.

 Giving Thanks from the Podium

Stephanie Scotti – Speaker Notes

Reflect on this past year’s gifts and blessings with a video of the 2009 Voice of Democracy winner.

A Gift for Speakers and Would-be Speakers

Martin Shovel – Creativity Works

“A medley of tips on how to prepare – and write – a speech or presentation that will make an audience sit up and listen.”

A Holiday Speech for the Ages

Cynthia Sparks – Starks Communications

A reflection on Christmas sermons from Cynthia’s favorite priests.

Public Speaking for the Holidays: Beware

George Torok – Executive Speech Coach

Unplanned speeches during the Holidays can be dangerous!

In August, I wrote a blog about hippie-era slang that coincided with the 40^th anniversary of Woodstock . I explained how speech has always been a principle medium for cultures to define and differentiate themselves. Today, it is clear to linguists and laymen alike that people are incorporating language that reflects their online activity into offline speech. For example, “LOL” or “BRB” have been commonplace in everyday speech for years due to instant and text messaging. Then, social networking officially transformed the word “friend” into a verb. And phrases like, “It was nice to meet you,” are now synonymous with, “I’ll Facebook you.”

With the mass integration of technology into daily communication and omnipresence of the internet, I believe that there is now an inability for this younger generation to truly define their culture via speech.

Slang words that could once define specific geographic origins and subcultures can now find their way to foreign and multigenerational ears and mouths because the internet knows no bounds. Websites such as urbandictionary.com propagates slang to anyone with an internet connection. For instance, surfer-speak like, “stoked” or “gnarly,” can now be heard regularly in land locked areas like Kansas and New Mexico. 

The world is certainly moving towards an English speaking homogeny, but could it be moving towards a singular English slang as well?